Time Capsule #6: men's cologne

First things first: deep contrition and abject retroactive apologies to the long-suffering noses of the young women we embraced, snuggled, slow-danced-with, rode-in-a-car-with, or just approached while we exuded those revolting fragrances. Sorry.

What were we thinking? Well, probably that English Leather made us irresistably attractive. Sorry.

A dash on the neck, some Mantovani on the record player, and you'd be busting parietals for sure! Sorry.

At least that's what the magazine ads promised.

Whoa! Maybe short of explicit, but somewhere between the single- and the double-entendre. Say, a one-and-a-half entendre.

One theme of the English Leather marketing was the "We're Both Players" angle. The women in the ads talk about "men," not "my man." In another, the guy says "I know she dates other guys. So what. I go with other girls."

All us Big Greeners, eager volunteers for the front lines in The Sexual Revolution, ...dateless in dorms, dulling the absence with beer and reefer.

Sorry, women.

It took a long time for us to figure out that English Leather wasn't what made the difference.

And Jade East was worse: a felony olfactory offense.

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